Fathers and Father Figures, “YOU GET TO!” (A reflection of your mindset)

My wife made a statement to me one day when she was in a bit of a funk, she was feeling a certain way about day to day life, parenting, and all together “adulting” pretty much!

We talked it out a bit, well, she talked, I listened…
During our conversation she began to re-frame her thinking and gave me the phrase “I get to.” Which sparked the inspiration for this blog. Enjoy!

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Often times we may work a full day, then we have to get the kids ready for practice or activities, sometimes at multiple locations! Then we have to cook dinner, then do homework, then we have to read to our kids. We must listen to them, feed their great ideas and not so great ideas. We have to end arguments between friends or sibling, in addition to keeping them occupied, engaged or busy, depending on the day and our energy level. After all of that, we have to make sure everything is ready for the next day, clean, etc. etc.

We used to always say, “I have to do this, I have to do that…” Stop! Take a deep breath, shut it down!
We had to begin to change our mindset. When we looked at those things, as tasks, they looked and felt tiring, exhausting even!

First things first, we don’t HAVE to do those things! I’ve learned doing these things has benefits, so we make the CHOICE to do them. In making the choice to do them, the joy and happiness in our kids lives, and in our families begins to grow. Our children learn, grow, and have life experiences that will have value later in their young adult lives. Because we realize these benefits, we should now re-frame our mind to think, “I GET TO.I get to” help my student with their homework. “I get” the chance to read to them at night. “I get” to redirect them when necessary. I get” to watch my children’s practice and/or games. “I get to” watch them grow, learn, develop, and so on…

My wife helped me realize my “I get to,” moments of being a great father. I take great pride in going above and beyond, to provide great experiences, and to be completely involved with my children and family while I can. After all, tomorrow is not promised!

This outlook provided true value to me. Sometimes our significant others have good ideas, I guess!

Let me leave you with something…                                                                               My advice, don’t grow weary! Take advantage of these moments. Remember, “You get” the opportunity to do these things for your family. Not everyone has the same opportunity, cherish, value, and hold on to every day that you “GET” the opportunity to be a great man.

Remember, You don’t have to, “YOU GET TO…
Begin to change and re-frame your mind starting now.

Family Time - Caribbean Tots to Teens

Let me know, What’s one area where you can change the “I HAVE TO” to, an “I GET TO?

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-LineBackerDAD out

My 5, To Mental / Health Wellness & Caring for Ourselves

I began writing this after a DAD-SCUSSIONS session on Mental / Health Wellness and Caring for Yourself. I found there were some things that I needed to revisit regarding my own mental & health wellness. I’ll preface by saying I am a man of structure, discipline and regimen, even I need this topic! Every man does!

DAD-SCUSSIONS w/ Alameda Father Corp.

During DAD-SCUSSIONS, our panelist Floyd Burrell, and Dr. Tony Jackson, gave some solid nuggets and areas to personally unpack, regarding this topic. Initially, I wanted to give a synopsis, but I don’t want to mis-interpret their words. For that reason, I’m going to expand on their awesomeness with…

LineBackerDAD’s 5, to Mental or Health Wellness and Caring for Yourself

1. There is Something Greater Than You, a High Power…

2. Honest Self – Reflection

3. Peer Accountability

4. Be Adaptable

5. Center Yourself

It is my belief that men who know they are of strong value, but at the same time, a small part in the grander scheme of things, are mentally prepared for wellness. It’s also my belief that we must know there is a higher power. For me, That’s God!

Below are a few points, for your reference, to my 5 Keys to Wellness. I hope this adds value to your life!

#1 There is something greater than you!

  • A. You must know you’re not the end all, be all! (Some men actually think they are “everything!”)
  • B. Your values, morals and beliefs must be different than the world systems. What that governs you?
  • C. You should answer to a purpose greater than you (You must move, shake, and operate as if you are accountable to something)

#2 Honest Self – Reflection

  • A. You can’t have a false sense of reality. (Are you in tune with reality?)
  • B. You must self-talk and ask yourself honest questions (what is self talk?)
  • C. You respond, You make amends, You forgive, and You continue to intentionally move forward

#3 Find Peer Accountability

  • A. Don’t isolate yourself!
  • B. Find a circle or a group that mirrors the positivity and good you want in your life.
  • C. Who will keep it real with you? That’s likely the type of person you want as an accountability partner, we all need one. Build a better relationship with that person and let them know they are your accountability.

#4 Be adaptable

  • A. Don’t be so stuck in your ways you can’t see a good thing
  • B. Have a willingness to change. It first starts in your mind.
  • C. Sometimes you have to go with an audible!? Dont allow negative things to happen because you fail to switch it up/audible.

#5 Center yourself

  • A. Take time to meditate
  • B. What are you feeding your mind?
  • C. Release things that are out of your control and prepare for the things that are in your control
  • D. Psycho-cybernetics (The Book)

Number 5 is one of the most important elements I practice to properly caring for myself and remaining physically and mentally well. Consider 1-4 as me having an internal conversation with myself (Self-Talk). I share them with you in hopes that they add value to you! Number five will add definite value to your life! I want you to implement and practice these things. Over time, I am certain if you are consistently practicing, you will begin to see noticeable positive changes in every area of your life.

View my message on YouTube. I condensed almost two hours of self-talk to bring you what I hope is 12 minutes of true value to your wellness.

Do you currently see the true value of wellness & caring for yourself? What do you do to practice mental wellness & caring for yourself?     Let me know.

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