Of all the great things I have done in my life, I know, FATHERING IS MY SUPERPOWER!
Have you ever felt that out of everything you’ve ever done in life, that one “thing” just stands out better than the rest. Do you notice the feeling in you, of the “thing” you’re best at doing? Fathering is that one thing for me, I feel fatherhood was gifted to me for a very specific reason!
Let me leave you with something, As cliche as it is, it’s fact! Even the greatest gifts, have greater responsibilities. I feel like Spider-man’s grandpa or something here!
When I look at my super power I compare it to “the greats” I’ve seen and admired. I must remind myself, the most talented whoever it is, must give a greater effort, they must practice, and they must perfect their craft to stay at the top of their game or maintain their God given gift!
I had to ask myself! Why would it be any different with fathering/fatherhood?It isn’t!!! It takes the same, if not more of a mastery approach.
#AwesomeFathers and father figures, what are we doing week in and week out to make sure we’re maintaining our fatherly superpowers!?
I’ve spent a lot of time with my children over the last 5 months as covid-19 has physically removed me from my work. It has been very revealing to the things I value most as a husband and father. I’ve learned during this time to listen attentively to my children and value them more as little people, who have deep dreams, little people aspirations, and a mind of their own. Our time together has given me another look at my family values, beliefs, mission, character and culture norms. There is still a lot we need to teach our children! But very once in a while our children do something that show us, we might be doing okay…
I’ve made a secret recipe for what I believe are key ingredients to a well balanced child.
Read. Reflect. Enjoy!
I take pride in this one! If anyone were to ask my kids what integrity means to them. I am 99.9% certain they will say, “who they are, when no one is watching.” I know, because I’ve intentionally taught them that! I’ve learned, teaching integrity is extremely important. More-so, modeling integrity is more important. In my speeches to fathers in schools across California, I do an activity to display to fathers and father figures, we are followed and modeled by not what we say, but, by what we do.
Our children thrive off of structure and equally learn how to balance their life based on the practiced structures they see in their families. Especially their fathers!
“Mental toughness is many things and rather difficult to explain. Its qualities are sacrifice and self-denial. Also, most importantly, it is combined with a perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give in. It’s a state of mind — you could call it character in action.”
– Vince Lombardi
“Think of athletics: discipline is the fundamental aspect on which sports have been created.” – Ashley Fern
Keep in mind, with strong discipline, high rewards are often awarded.
I treat my children with what some may see as an unusual amount of respect for a child. I try to consistently modeling to them, “this is how you should be treated!” In “respecting them,” I am showing them, how to treat others, in turn I hope they are learning how they should treat others, as well as setting the standard for others and how they are to treat my children. People who have high levels of respect for others, are confident in who they are, they are confident in the spaces they operate in, and they are confident in the value they bring to others and the world. Me personally! I want my kids and family to have that trait in them.
Let me first say, there is a difference between being smart, I.Q., education, and what you’ve been taught. One could graduate from the most elite college and still be clueless about the world around them. A person’s emotional intelligence can be so low, they are completely oblivious to the disparities and inequalities of others suffering around them. I don’t want to foster that in my home.
Our children and families should be rich with, “Book smarts,” “Street smarts,” and “emotional intelligence.”
The ingredient Intelligence fosters the ability to be a self starter, a life long learner, and having a thirst for knowledge outside of what may be given in the normal construct of education.
What is Grit?
In the face of adversity a willingness to overcome all things.
The ingredient G.R.I.T, we must teach.
Give it your all, ALWAYS
Redo if necessary
Ignore the haters and spirit of giving up
Take the time to do it right
Studies show, those with high levels of grit, are able to overcome challenges which leads to positive outcomes.
My days in youth development have taught me six character traits that every student should have. They are modeled through the six pillars of character. If you do not take the time to teach any other character traits, TEACH THESE!
Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Caring, and Citizenship.
We’ll focus on two today. Learning to trust and being trustworthy is a life long principle and cornerstone to building quality and meaningful relationships.
The golden rule… Go ask your children what’s the golden rule. If they replied, “treat others as you want to be treated,” you’re doing something right #AwesomeFather. If not, take the time to expand on what this statement truly means.
We’ve got to have faith!
My mother taught me to have faith, even if it was the size of a mustard seed.
Faith is the complete confidence in something, or someone. When our children know without a shadow of doubt, “worry ends when their faith begins,” they will become stronger in their own pursuits! Faith and believing in a higher power is necessary in this recipe. Believing in something greater and someone other than self gives an accountability measure that our children need. Walking by faith even when it is not seen will become a fruitful gift if our children learn to whole-fully practice this. I’m going to let you in on a family secret, Faith is the secret ingredient to the success of this recipe.
During this time when we may have more time with our families and children, and maybe we are practicing a balance of father/father figure and teacher. Take the time to ensure children have a well balance of these ingredients.